My name is Tanya
I am 39. I am a single mom to a great 18 year old son. Looking at me today you would never know that just a year ago, I walked in darkness, wishing to die everyday. My life, not a pretty one, as a baby I was abused, burned by cigarettes, bones broken. I was physically, mentally and emotionally abused. Then as if it couldn’t get worse I was sexually abused and raped till I was 15. I remember one day my grandma telling me of Jesus, I did not know him, I was only five, but from that moment on I believed in him. We did not go to church often, usually just for show, but one day they sang in Sunday school, “Hes got the whole world in his hands”.
In my heart I felt Jesus
I was years away from giving him my pain, my past, excepting his forgiveness but, I knew he loved me. I buried things for many years, I was alive but not living, I was dead inside. About a year ago it all came back to me as my grandma decided I needed to know things, things I did not even remember, things I prayed to forget,I became depressed, cut myself daily, I starved myself, I tried to over dose, I wanted to die. I listened to every word the enemy told me, I was worthless, I was disgusting, unloved and that I could not be saved. I had been hated since birth and would be till death. But, just as I was to let go, this time for good, I felt that same love in my heart as when I was in church at 5 and they sang that song. At my very bottom, when all others told me I was beyond help, Jesus found me. At the bottom of the pills he found me, and though the doctors say they have no explanation how I survived, I do. Jesus. Nothing is impossible for him.
Nobody is beyond his saving love.
I have never lived and in his name but now I do, since giving him everything. I am new. My old life is gone. And even though I have many lasting health issues, I know who is my healer. I continue to amaze doctors as what they say will never heal does, and even the stuff that doesn’t, I know I am okay, because my Jesus walks with me in light and I have no more fear, forever thankful for his amazing grace.
sparkle and shine 🙂